if today was your last day and tomorrow would be late, could you say good bye to yesterday ?
in the hospital, they didn't know what was wrong with char . it was something .. new . in about 10minutes, char was normal again . so the doctors said that we can go back to home . we put char back to sleep, and we went to bed too . harry wrapped his other hand around me .
harry: honey ...
me: yeah ?
harry: have you thought that when we're going to keep our weddings .. ?
me: what ? this came a little bit .. soon ..
harry: but have you even thought about it ?
me: well.. yeah couple times..
harry: so what do think about it ?
me: well ... i think it would be a great idea .. but can we talk about this tomorrow ?
harry: yea,sure .
then he gave me a goodnight kiss and turned the lights off .
in the morning .
i woke up at 10am, and harry was doing some breakfast in the kitchen with char . 
harry: good morning gorgeous !
me: hhah, i'm far away from gorgeous ..
harry: if that's your opinion ........ burn in hell ..
me: ahha i love you tooo
harry: what are we going to do today ?
me: hmm .. i don't know .. maybe we should just you know chill , watch movies ?
harry: fits with me .
after a couple hours .
we were lying on the sofa , char in between us . harry took char to his lap, and took her hands at put her to stand on his stomach .
me: oww you're so cute together .
harry: aahhaha yea right ..
then char jumped to harry's .... crotch .. it was an accident .
harry: OH MY GOD
me: ahahahhahahha
i fell down from the sofa, i laughed so much . char looked at me and started to laugh too . i got up from the floor and i took char to my lap.
harry: oh god ....
me: it couldn't hurt that much .. haaha
harry: i'm going to dieee
me: hahah, do i have to blow it ?
harry looked me for a long .
harry: YEEEES please, blowjoooooooob, you're always welcome to my pants .
me: oh god ..
i put char to the floor and i went to sit on harry's stomach .
me: hi
harry: hiiiii thereeee . you know, it still hurts .
me: yea ?
harry: you said you're gonna blow it .
me: i said, but i'm not gonna do it .
harry: owh, sad..
me: indeed .
harry: you know what ?
me: tell me .
harry: i love your ass .
me: .......................................................................... excuse me .
harry: you heard me .
me: hmm.. weird .
harry: hey by the way .. what about those weddings ..?
me: aah, i ... i don't know .. i mean, of course i wanna marry you, but .. where and when and ..
harry: in next month , in the Church of England .
me: what ............. in next month ? but .. i don't even have a wedding dress ..
harry: that's not a problem . i have already sent all invitations , and actually i've done already everything ..
me: but .... how did you know i'll ..
harry: because i know you love me .
me: owh ... you're so sweet ...
harry: now come on and kiss me .
then i kissed him for a long , until my phone rang . 
me: hiii
louis: hi theree ! hey my friend is going to have a party tonight, at six o'clock, you know where . you're coming ?
me: yeaa, if we get someone to look after char ..
louis: well niall and liam are not going there, so ask them ! 
me: yeeeeeeea okayy, byee !
louis: bye !
harry: who was it ?
me: louis, his friend is gonna have parties tonight, and we're going . no matter what you're going to say .
harry: YEAH ! party haaaaard !
me: hahah
harry: hmh ..
me: what?
harry: nothing .. what are you going to wear ?
me: i have nooooo idea .
harry: you should put that turquoise dress .. you look hot in it ..
me: ahhah, but it's really short ..
harry: so .. ?
me: what ever you like it ..
in the partieeeeeeesi were sitting in the bar with harry . then suddenly zayn came next to me .
me: oh hello there !
zayn: hii
me: so how ....
harry: SO ZAYN have you already found someone ...
me: harry shut up !
zayn: hahah, no i haven't .. not yet ..
harry hugged me behind of me and started to kiss my neck .
me: harryyyy .....
zayn: ahah someone's getting laid tonight ...
harry: everyday ..
zayn: what ? really ?
me: well n........
harry: hell yeah !
me: harry please control yourself ..
zayn: erm, is he drunk ?
me: no .. he's always like that haha
harry: hey babe don't expose everything ...
i looked around, and then ..
me: wait, who's that ?
zayn: who ?
me: that girl right there . i think i know her . she looks really familiar .
zayn: hah, she's hot .
me: wait ..
harry: heeeey where are you going ?
me: i'll be right back ..
i went next to that girl , and i noticed that she was my good friend , minette .
me: oh my god ! what are you doing here !
minette: HOLY SHIT !
then she hugged me .
me: so what are you doing here ?
minette: well, partying, and i also heard that one direction's louis, harry and zayn are here ..
me: aah .. it's great to see you !
minette: haha yep !
me: but let me introduce you someone ..
minette: yeaa sure !
i took her hand and i leaded her to the bar .
me: so ...
minette: HOLY MOTHER OF GOD ASDFGTHJK HARRY STYLES AND ZAYN MALIK AM I LIVING AAAA
zayn: chill haha !
minette: i can't omg !
harry: hi .
minette: AAAAA HARRY SAID HI TO ME OMG .
harry: haaaaa she's funny !
me: harry, zayn, this is my friend, minette .
zayn: cool name ..
minette: oh my god .
harry: come here babe .
i went to sit on harry's lap .
minette: wait a second .. did he said ' babe ' ?
harry: i'm sure i said .
minette: are you guys .. dating or something ?
me: well actually ..
harry: yea we can't say anymore that we're 'dating' .. actually we're engaged and we're getting married in next month !
minette: wow .. i'm speechless .. you really deserve each others !
me: ow thank you ..
harry: and also .. we have this cute little baby, called charlotte .
minette: owh ...
harry kissed me .
zayn: so ... minette .. do you wanna come dance with me .. ?
minette: am i in heaven ? of course i will come !
taddadaa and then they went dancing .
harry: can we go home ?
me: whaaaaat ? why ? already ?
harry: i'm feeling sick ..
me: well .. okay .. if you want .. we can go ..
harry: great, lets go .
he took my hand and pulled me out of that house .
me: harry is something wrong... ?
harry: no . everything's fine .
i was pretty sure that something was bothering harry .

i had a dream,
beauty was only skin deep,
if we all just believe, 
that is all we need,
nothing else can set you free .

that same night, when harry fell down to coma , i saw a dream . so, in that dream, i was standing in our balcony, leaning to the rail. then someone opened the door behind me. it was harry . he came to hug me . i didn't say a word.

harry: hi ..

me: ..
harry: are you okay ..?
me: i miss you ..
harry: i miss you too ..
me: please come back , this is just way too hard for me ..
harry: i believe you .. but you know, honesty i don't know .. can i come back .
me: .. yes you can ..
harry: it's not my decision anymore babe ...
me: .....
harry: i gotta go now ...

me: no.. don't leave me here ..
harry took my hands, and started to sing .
harry:  i remember tears streaming down your face
when I said, I'll never let you go
when all those shadows almost killed your light
i remember you said, don't leave me here alone
but all that's dead and gone and passed tonight
just close your eyes
the sun is going down
you'll be alright
no one can hurt you now
come morning light
you and I'll be safe and sound ..he hugged me, and after three seconds .. he was gone. again .
then i woke up . the clock was 6:30am . i couldn't sleep anymore . i had to see harry. char was still sleeping . i put my clothes on, and i went to the living room. niall was there .
me: you're already awake ?
niall: uhm .. yea .. 
me: i'm going to see harry, can you please look after char ..?
niall: yeah sure ..
me: is everything alright .. ?
niall: yes ... i just miss emma ..
me: she'll come back soon.. i think ..
niall: yea ..
in the hospital .
i sat there, next to harry. there were quiet again. i looked out the window , it was sunny . spring was coming . well, it was mars. i were just thinking everything . then suddenly .
harry: hi ..
i drop off from that chair .
me: oh my god !
i got up from the floor and i went to lean to harry's bed .
me: oh my god ...
harry: how are you hun ?
me: i'm just fine .. are you okay ?
harry: never felt better .
me: oh god i'm so happy right now !
harry: how's char ?

me: she's fine .
harry: great ..
me: so when are you coming back to home ?
harry: as soon as possible .. but..
me: yes ?
harry: i just thought that .. maybe we should move together . i mean, just me, you and char ..
me: what ? that would be amazing ! 
harry smiled.
harry: really ?
me: yes !
he smiled again . 
a month later .
harry came home like two days after he wake up from that coma . we started to look an apartment, and we found it. it's not so big, but there's enough space for us . life has been normal, except harry has to be careful whatever he does. but we moved to our new home. it was much cooler than i expected  . there were even a huuuge pool !
we were just lying on the sofa, watching some tv . char was already sleeping, it was like 3am, and we were still awake .
harry: are you tired ?
me: noo, i'm not ..
harry: so... what do you think about ..
me: think about what ?
harry: about this ..
then he came on top of me and kissed me for a long .
harry: you know what i'm talking about ?
me: aah now i got it ..
harry took my shirt off and started to kiss my neck . then he took his shirt & jeans off .
harry: can i .. ?
he pointed my shorts . i nodded my head . straight away, he took them off . it didn't take more than 30 seconds and harry were already ... can i say working on me ? okay . it didn't take more than 30 seconds and harry were already working on me . and after another 30 seconds, it was over . he pulled a blanket above us .
harry: wow ..
me: hah .
harry: i've really missed this ..
me: hahah, you're like the cheekiest chap...
then suddenly char started to cry . she never cries . i mean when she's sleeping . _never_ .
harry: what the ...
we put our clothes on and then we ran to char's room . harry took her to his lap .

me: is she okay ?
she just cried .
harry: she's a bit pale ...
me: maybe she's sick .. ?
harry: may....
then char went totally limp .
harry: oh my god . call an ambulance .
me: what ?
harry: call-an-ambulance-right-now .

do you remember at all, people walking hand in hand, can we feel that love again ?
two weeks later 
life was ... different . the boys wanted to keep holiday . paul was a bit against that idea , but he had no choices . i spend most of my time with harry . char was always with me. there were days, when harry looked like he's ready to go home, but there were also days when he looked like he's going to die . in those days, i didn't know what to do . i knew he was afraid, what was going to happen . but he hide it . even char noticed that everything wasn't alright . she looked at harry sometimes really wondering . harry's parents and his sister came to see him . the boys came everyday to see harry . and there were one really terrifying day .
i was just talking with harry . it was like 11pm, char wasn't there anymore, liam came to pick her to home .
harry: when i'm okay, i'm gonna take you to paris .
me: really .. ?
harry: yes .
me: you know, you don't really have to ..
harry: but i really want to .
me: hmh ..
harry: oh god it's hot in here ..
me: no it's not ? it's actually kind of cold here ..
harry: oh, i think it's pretty warm in here ..
me: hmm ..
then he just started to shake .
me: are you okay ?
he didn't answer . i ran to the coffee room where all the doctors were, and i told that there were something happening. one of those doctors came with me . he said that situation was weird, so he'll take him to another room so they cam figure out what's going on . i had to wait there in harry's room . i waited like .. 25 minutes. then the doctor came .
the doctor: he's okay . somehow that poison spread to his blood and that's why he had blood poisoning .
me: where is he now ?
the doctor: he's coming soon .
then that doctor leaved me there alone . and soon they brought harry back. he was sleeping or or or something . it was horrible to watch next to him when he's just .. dying .
me: harry .. i know that you can't here me . or maybe you do . you could just.. listen . these last days here .. i've realized something .. i can't live without you . i don't know, but it sounds really .. weird . it's really hard to see you just laying there .. if we were at home , we could watch movies, play with char and just chill .. i really miss those warm and loving hugs .. you can't leave me here alone ..
then i just cried . alone . it was dark .. it was quiet .
harry: don't cry ...
me: harry ..
harry: yes .. ?
me: are you okay ?
harry: well ... now when you're asking ... no i'm not ...
me: it's gonna be alright ..
harry: dear ... if i die ... you have to know ... i love you more than anything ...
me: you're not gonna die .. you can't .. you can't leave me here alone ...
harry: i'm not so sure anymore .. i can't be no superman .. but for you i'll be superhuman .
me: no ..
harry: i love you .
then ... he was in coma .
me: harry ! what .. you can't ...
then the doctors came and they said that it would be better if i would go home . so when i was at one direction's house , ran to the living room . the boys were still awake .
niall: what's going on ?
me: harry ...
louis: what ?
me: he's in coma ..
everyone went pale . louis started to cry .
louis: i can't ..
i went to our bedroom. i sat down on harry's side of the bed . then i just thought, that ... this is the end .. i didn't know what to do . there's no possibilities that harry will wake up . i just need one hug from harry .. just one . i really wished that he would be there right next to me . being cute, cheeky and just harry . but .. he's gone .

just close your eyes, the sun is going down .
in the morning .
when i woke up, harry was already gone . there was no one in the house . only char . she was playing with toys in her cot .
me: good morning darling .
char looked at me with her big, blue eyes .
that day went pretty well . i played with char and we just had some kind of kid & mother time . until . louis called me .
me: oh hi louis ! what's going on there .
louis: liam is there in a minute . you're going to the hospital .
me: what ? why ?
louis: ... someone shot harry ..
i dropped the phone to the floor . i couldn't breathe . char looked me . i had to pick up the phone .
me: .. what ..
louis: we were on the stage, just you know like normally, when someone just .....
me: is he still alright ..?
louis: i ... i don't really know .. he's going to the hospital with an ambulance ..
me: but if liam is going to get me there, who's gonna look after char ?
louis: niall is coming with him .
me: okay ...
louis: are you okay ..?
me: no i'm not .. i mean .. there has to be always some kind of drama in my life .. i'm so sick of it ..
louis: hmh ... but hey i think liam will be there soon , and i gotta go to the hospital now .. so byee
me: bye .
i dropped the phone again . i cried . how can this be possible . then suddenly niall and liam came inside to the living room, where i was with char . liam looked at me for a while, then he lifted me up and hugged me .
liam: don't cry .. it's gonna be alright ..

i couldn't say a word . i was so broken . niall went to play with char . liam pulled me to the car .
in the hospital .

when we got to the section where harry was , i saw louis crying . zayn sat right next to him . i think he cried also . we went to sit next to them . we just sat there like fifteen minutes , and then i just couldn't be quiet .
me: where did he get that shot .. ?
louis looked at me .
louis: to the chest ..
then just . my body went totally numb . what if harry's going to die . and how could i tell it to char, that she doesn't have a father . i needed to see harry right now .
me: can i see him .. ?
louis: yes .. but i'm not coming .. it's too hard to see one of my best friends just lying there and ...
i got up from the chair . i looked at the door right in front of me . harry was there . i went towards the door . i opened it . i went inside . i closed the door . then i looked at the hospital bed . harry was there , he was sleeping or something ... i took a chair and i went to sit next to harry . i just sat there . i felt myself safe . i looked at harry . he was pale . at least he was alive . it was quiet . suddenly harry opened his eyes .
me: harry !
harry: hi ....
me: are you okay ?
harry: erm .. i think yeah ..
me: i thought you were dying .. god thanks that you're alive ..
harry: hmh ..
me: .....
harry: where's char ?
me: she's at home with niall ..
harry: okay ...
i had nothing to say . i was so terrified . anything can happen .
harry: dear ...
me: ?
harry: if something happens . if . remember, that i'll always , no matter what ,i'll love you . 
me: but there's not happening anything, right ..?
harry: honestly ..... i don't know .. i can't even get up from here, because if i get up, my chest hurts too much ..
i started to cry ..
me: but if you die .. oh god, i can't even think about life without you ..
harry: baby, don't cry .. please, don't .. i'm not going to die ..
me: how can you know that ? have those doctors even checked you ? i mean, do they know what's going on with you ?
harry: not really .. they just took a couple test etc ..
me: so there's possibilities that you can .... die .. ?
harry: honestly, i don't believe in that .. i don't think that it's my time to go .. i have the cutest child in this world, and i have you . you mean the world to me ..
i couldn't say a word . i just cried . harry was quiet too . then some kinda doctor came inside, louis,liam and zayn straight behind him . he told us that the bullet, which went through harry's body , contained a very dangerous ... poison ... louis ran out of the room . zayn went with him. liam looked just shocked . and i fell down to my knees . i cried . i might lose the love of my life .
liam: so .. he's gonna .. survive ? right .. ?
the doctor: well .. maybe, maybe not .. that poison is .. really dangerous .. there's 10% chance that he's gonna survive .
me: excuse me, WHAT ? ten fucking percent ? you're a doctor ! you can't let him die .
theeeee doctor: we've done everything what we can do .. we just have to .. wait .
harry looked fearful . he was really afraid .
liam: how long is he going to stay here .. ?
the doctor: about two months ?
in that moment. i knew . that this might be the end of band called one direction . if harry dies, it'll be the end . if harry doesn't die, it's not the end . but there were _only_ 10% chance that he'll survive . c'moon, think of it . seriously . two months . they had to cancel about .. i don't know, 50 gigs ? ...
the doctor left the room . liam went to the corridor with louis and zayn . i were just crying on the floor .
harry: dear.. come here ..
i got up from the floor and sat back to the chair next to harry. 

harry: go home .. please . go and play with char . and say to her that i love her .
me: i can't leave you here ..
harry: i'm okay here ..
me: but... no .
harry: if you're not going home .. get niall and char here ..
me: yeah ... i think liam already called to niall ..
harry: okay..
then it was quiet , again .

my body needs a hero , come and save me .
back in daaa housee
so when we got bakc to one direction's house, i was still in shock . i couldn't believe what was happening . i put char to bed, and then i went to the living room . we were just chilling and watching some kind of love movie . i was laying on the floor , harry right next to me . and now you're thinking why we weren't on the sofa, it was full o: harry took my hand and watched my ring .
harry: do you like it ?
me: do i like it ? i love it ! but i still wonder why ..
harry: because i love you. i really don't know how many times i have to say that before you believe me ..
he smiled to me .
me: i believe you .. 
harry: so why are you wondering ... ?
me: i don't know .. this is just so .. new for me . 
harry: hmh .
after 10 minutes
harry: darling.. is everything .. okay..?
me: yes, what do you mean ?
harry: nowadays you're really quiet ..
me: .... 
harry: hey, seriously .
me: i'm fine .
harry looked at me . i knew he didn't believe me .
harry: .... okkay .
when that movie ended, i went straightaway to our bed . harry came right behind me. 
after 3 and a half hours .
i woke up . i don't know why . harry was asleep . the whole house was quiet . i went to the kitchen . i opened one of the kitchens boxes . i took a kitchen knife . i went to sit on the chair . i put that knife to the table . then i pulled my sleeves up . i really were ashamed of my arms. they looked like .. idk . then suddenly someone opened the door . it was harry . i couldn't even breathe . he closed the door. he looked .. i don't know . he stood there. just looking at me .
harry: .. what are those .
me: ...
harry: you said everything was alright .
me: yeah but ..
harry: you lied .
me: i can explain ..
harry: no . you need help .
me: no.. i just ..
harry: don't . just . don't .
i saw that one teardrop fell down from his eye .
harry: you don't know .. how much i care about you. it hurts me so much to see .. that you look like that . damn girl .. what's wrong with you? you have everything . you have me, you have char, you have _everything_ .
me: just let me explain .
harry: well .. tell me .
me: ... my best friend killed himself a couple days ago ..
harry came to sit next to me .
harry: what happened .. ?
me: i can't .....
harry: you can tell me everything .
me: well ... i told him that i'm in relationship with you .. and then he ... he told me that he loved me.. i didn't know it .. and then .. i just had a message .. that he's dead . and i'm not invited to the funerals ..
harry: what ... that's horrible .. you should have told to me .
me: he was my best friends .. i feel like .. i have nobody .
harry: but what about emma..?
me: yes, she's important to me too .. but ..
then i just couldn't say a word .
harry: hmhh. but .. even though he died .. it doesn't mean that you have to cut yourself . you're not worth it .
me: but this thing is killing me inside ..
harry: i believe you .. but .. i think it's rude to say this, but you have to carry on your life .. 
me: i don't know what to do ..
harry: ..... are you happy with me ?
me: what ... ? how can you even ask . of course i am .
harry: if you really love me. you should listen to me. it's not the end of the world . seriously . 
me: mh .. 
harry: but darling, we have a day concert tomorrow, it stars like at 11am, and i'm really tired .. and you have to take care of char, because we don't have backstage tickets for you and emma. and emma is leaving tomorrow to finland, her mom has birthday next week , so you're alone here .. is it okay ?
me: erm.. i think yeah ..
harry: or if you want, you can call to eleanor or danielle , i'm pretty sure that they'll come here with you ..
me: yeah ..
harry: come on .. lets go sleeping ..
so then we went back to our bedroom. i sat down to our bed . 
harry: are you okay .. ?
me: yes ..
--------------------------------------------------------
in the morning .
when i woke up, harry was already gone . there was no one in the house . only char . she was playing with toys in her cot .
me: good morning darling .
char looked at me with her big, blue eyes .
that day went pretty well . i played with char and we just had some kind of kid & mother time . until . louis called me .
me: oh hi louis ! what's going on there .
louis: liam is there in a minute . you're going to the hospital .
me: what ? why ?
louis: ... someone shot harry ..

i love you more than i did before .
da concert . 
so that concert went pretty well. what you can except from O2 arena .......... hngh i think i lost my ears . but the highlight ........... the boys were singing more than this , we were just fangirling on the front line with emma, when suddenly harry just disappeared , and after two seconds he came back, putting something to his breast pocket . harry looked at me quickly . he looked nervous . then the music stopped . fans screamed too loud, they thought that there were coming something big . but harry walked in front of me .
harry: come on .
he took my hand and pulled me up .
me: what's going on .. ?
harry: wait .
the lights turned lower . fans were screaming . harry stood in front of me .
me: what theeee ?
harry looked somewhere quickly . then he knelt down in front of me . i heard some fans were crying in the front line .
me: oh my god ..
harry: dear .. i have no words to say . all i can say, is .. i love you ..... so, i just thought .. will you marry me .
i think my eyes were like plates .
me: wait . is this real ? are you on your knee proposing me ? in O2 arena ? in front of like 20 000 girls ?
harry: ... i think so ..?
louis: JUST SAY YEEEEEEEESS
then the whole crowd cried, and yelled ' yeees '
me: i think i have no choices ..
harry: there's only one answer that i'll accept .
me: .......... yes ?
then harry got up, the whoooooooooole O2 arena were screaming (and crying) , louis,liam,zayn and niall were all smiling. niall went to pull emma up from the crowd . harry kissed me and then he put the ring to my finger . i think it was gold . and there was a smaaaaal diamond . simple , but effective . 

bright lights in the skyline .
after a couple days, we finally got back to home . and yeah when we bought those things what we need for char, but we had no fucking idea, where would we put them . i mean , mine and harry's room .. it's small . but somehow we managed to set all those things in to our room . first nights with char , they were pretty easy, she's really quiet girl so she doesn't bother us at night . and yeah ofcofc every magazine writes about char, how cute she is etc. it's kind of weird .. because we're not used to it . and this is a huuuuuuuge change for me and harry too.
two weeks later
everybody else were already sleeping, when i was putting char to sleep . but harry were still awake . when finally char fell asleep, i went to the bed next to harry. he put his arm around me and i put my head against his chest .
me: aaah i'm tireed
harry: me tooooo
me: what are we going to do tomorrow ?
harry: erm, we have a concert tomorrow and we have tickets for you and emma so you can come to watch it if you want to, and yeeeah, front seats ..
me: oh with those screaming girls ? hah they might kill me ..
harry: i'll keep eye on you .
me: ahah, but what about char ..?
harry: we have paul on the backstage, he'll take care of her .
me: aaa great, but why can't i be at backstage ..?
harry: i want to sing to you .
me: but you can sing me whenever you want to .. ?
harry: hah yeah .. but lets go sleeping now..
me: yeaaaaah, goodnight
harry: good night babe .
----- ---- --- -- -