my body needs a hero , come and save me .
back in daaa housee
so when we got bakc to one direction's house, i was still in shock . i couldn't believe what was happening . i put char to bed, and then i went to the living room . we were just chilling and watching some kind of love movie . i was laying on the floor , harry right next to me . and now you're thinking why we weren't on the sofa, it was full o: harry took my hand and watched my ring .
harry: do you like it ?
me: do i like it ? i love it ! but i still wonder why ..
harry: because i love you. i really don't know how many times i have to say that before you believe me ..
he smiled to me .
me: i believe you ..
harry: so why are you wondering ... ?
me: i don't know .. this is just so .. new for me .
harry: hmh .
after 10 minutes
harry: darling.. is everything .. okay..?
me: yes, what do you mean ?
harry: nowadays you're really quiet ..
me: ....
harry: hey, seriously .
me: i'm fine .
harry looked at me . i knew he didn't believe me .
harry: .... okkay .
when that movie ended, i went straightaway to our bed . harry came right behind me.
after 3 and a half hours .
i woke up . i don't know why . harry was asleep . the whole house was quiet . i went to the kitchen . i opened one of the kitchens boxes . i took a kitchen knife . i went to sit on the chair . i put that knife to the table . then i pulled my sleeves up . i really were ashamed of my arms. they looked like .. idk . then suddenly someone opened the door . it was harry . i couldn't even breathe . he closed the door. he looked .. i don't know . he stood there. just looking at me .
harry: .. what are those .
me: ...
harry: you said everything was alright .
me: yeah but ..
harry: you lied .
me: i can explain ..
harry: no . you need help .
me: no.. i just ..
harry: don't . just . don't .
i saw that one teardrop fell down from his eye .
harry: you don't know .. how much i care about you. it hurts me so much to see .. that you look like that . damn girl .. what's wrong with you? you have everything . you have me, you have char, you have _everything_ .
me: just let me explain .
harry: well .. tell me .
me: ... my best friend killed himself a couple days ago ..
harry came to sit next to me .
harry: what happened .. ?
me: i can't .....
harry: you can tell me everything .
me: well ... i told him that i'm in relationship with you .. and then he ... he told me that he loved me.. i didn't know it .. and then .. i just had a message .. that he's dead . and i'm not invited to the funerals ..
harry: what ... that's horrible .. you should have told to me .
me: he was my best friends .. i feel like .. i have nobody .
harry: but what about emma..?
me: yes, she's important to me too .. but ..
then i just couldn't say a word .
harry: hmhh. but .. even though he died .. it doesn't mean that you have to cut yourself . you're not worth it .
me: but this thing is killing me inside ..
harry: i believe you .. but .. i think it's rude to say this, but you have to carry on your life ..
me: i don't know what to do ..
harry: ..... are you happy with me ?
me: what ... ? how can you even ask . of course i am .
harry: if you really love me. you should listen to me. it's not the end of the world . seriously .
me: mh ..
harry: but darling, we have a day concert tomorrow, it stars like at 11am, and i'm really tired .. and you have to take care of char, because we don't have backstage tickets for you and emma. and emma is leaving tomorrow to finland, her mom has birthday next week , so you're alone here .. is it okay ?
me: erm.. i think yeah ..
harry: or if you want, you can call to eleanor or danielle , i'm pretty sure that they'll come here with you ..
me: yeah ..
harry: come on .. lets go sleeping ..
so then we went back to our bedroom. i sat down to our bed .
harry: are you okay .. ?
me: yes ..
--------------------------------------------------------
in the morning .
when i woke up, harry was already gone . there was no one in the house . only char . she was playing with toys in her cot .
me: good morning darling .
char looked at me with her big, blue eyes .
that day went pretty well . i played with char and we just had some kind of kid & mother time . until . louis called me .
me: oh hi louis ! what's going on there .
louis: liam is there in a minute . you're going to the hospital .
me: what ? why ?
louis: ... someone shot harry ..
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